I realize the reason why it’s been so easy for me stumble back to the brink is simply because i’m stubborn
why small to big setbacks nonetheless become big ordeals of sad. running off to wander streets through twilight, stand to stare off into traffic only to come back home. ’cause i’m prideful that’s why. want to be sad to the max and all the while self-righteous in spite of everything.
but bouncing back can be so much easier if only I let myself. quit being stubborn about being sad. you know that more than anything you hold on to it because you want people to acknowledge it– brutally so. the people that tripped you and the ones who walk by, you want them to admit it. see if they miss you maybe. testing them again and again. but you don’t need to do that at all. trust them, won’t you? you don’t need them to see your melodramatics. wait for a reaction to see if they care, if they’ll notice. that’s silly. ’cause their care comes even without any cries for help, any drastic measures, any tears. ’cause they’re friends and family for a reason, and love comes in the smallest of forms– precious. and apologies, confessions, discussions in the light of wrongs are better when you don’t need tears to convince. patience.
stop using sadness as both a countermeasure and excuse.
cry ’cause you need to but don’t continue out of self-pity.
truthfully you do need those cries, yeah. but you know all the same, when all’s said and done, you can go back home. accept the comfort they reach out to you.
be a little less stubborn about being sad and hurt and be a little more stubborn about holding onto your happiness and